I've been in plenty of situations where I've tried to get people to like me for whatever reasons. They could have been my boss, teacher, or even just some random person that I just met. Well, I guess most people have, so I'm not that special, but what most people don't realize (except for my social psychology class) is that this is a Self Presentation Strategy (Schlenker, 2003), more specifically it is known as ingratiation (Jones, 1964). Ingratiation, in short, is a strategy that people use, to get others to like them. It is usually used by people on the lower part of the pyramid to people higher up, such as an employee to a boss. Ingratiation can be split into two categories, namely conformity and flattery. Conformity is agreeing with point of view, whether your actually believe it or not, but can also be non-verbal, such as nodding your head. Other non-verbal conformity can include dressing like someone, or matching someone else's behavior to make yourself look better. The next is flattery, which occurs when you compliment another person. Most people love compliments, but when you take it too far they tend to realize that you're full of shit.
Now I would like to think that I don't conform to views that I completely disagree with, but that's just not true. Over last summer vacation, I was staying at my friends' house in California. It was a lot of fun seeing my friends after way too long, and I'm grateful that they gave me a place to stay for 3 whole months. That being said, my friends' parents were very very religious. Obviously I have nothing against people that are religious, but since I am pretty much on the opposite side of the spectrum, I had some completely different views. Since this was the case, every time certain topics or discussions were brought up, I just sat there and nodded my head, not even coming close to speaking my mind on the matter. Never once did I expect I would blindly nod to views I had a completely opposite opinion on, and this probably won't be the last.
References
Schlenker, B.R. (2003). Self-presentation. In M.R. Leary & J.P. Tangney (Eds). Handbook of self and identity (pp. 492-518).
Jones, E.E. (1964). Ingratiation: A social psychological analysis.
Now I would like to think that I don't conform to views that I completely disagree with, but that's just not true. Over last summer vacation, I was staying at my friends' house in California. It was a lot of fun seeing my friends after way too long, and I'm grateful that they gave me a place to stay for 3 whole months. That being said, my friends' parents were very very religious. Obviously I have nothing against people that are religious, but since I am pretty much on the opposite side of the spectrum, I had some completely different views. Since this was the case, every time certain topics or discussions were brought up, I just sat there and nodded my head, not even coming close to speaking my mind on the matter. Never once did I expect I would blindly nod to views I had a completely opposite opinion on, and this probably won't be the last.
References
Schlenker, B.R. (2003). Self-presentation. In M.R. Leary & J.P. Tangney (Eds). Handbook of self and identity (pp. 492-518).
Jones, E.E. (1964). Ingratiation: A social psychological analysis.
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